The Best Leaders Know How to Ask for Genuine Feedback
A long time ago, a mentor of mine told me a story about Frank Sinatra. Frank’s career took off early in the 1940s when he made his first record with the Tommy Dorsey band, and was such a sensation that Hollywood signed him to a long-term movie contract.
By the end of the decade, his career was all but gone. Lackluster films and a divorce from his wife destroyed his reputation, and he escaped to Las Vegas to avoid the spotlight (at the time, Vegas was where careers went to die).
He played one of the smaller stages at the ‘newish’ Dessert Inn hotel and casino and got to know Chester, their famous doorman, who seemed to know everyone in town and was a revered icon on the Strip.
Frank struck up a conversation with Chester to learn the secret to his success.
“It’s easy Frank,” replied Chester. “I ask everyone what I can do for them, and more specifically, what I can do better?”
“That’s it?” Frank wondered.
“Well, I dig until I get the unvarnished truth, Frank. And a man in your line of work never gets that because nobody has the guts to tell you you’re not great.”
Frank listened intently.
“You have to have thick skin. And, when you’re lucky enough to have a truth teller, giving you feedback - Listen with the intent to understand, NOT TO RESPOND.”
Frank credited this advice with helping him turn his career around. He surrounded himself with respected critics and friends who would tell him the truth. The Rat Pack had a reputation for teasing each other and making light of each other’s foibles.
I’m reminded of this advice every time I hear a Sinatra song. Radical candor is the sweetest sound you can get as a leader who wants to improve.
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